What a difference a year can make!
My sixteen year old and I are marveling at how far she has come in one year. A year ago about this same time, we concluded that something had to be done about her school situation. So at the ripe old age of 15 and in the 10th grade, the decision was made that she would quit school.
Looking Back
With my first set of children, I was able to devote quite a bit more time to being a hands-on parent. I was active in the community, in the school system and our home. My children benefited from a stable two-parent household. They were afforded the opportunity and freedom to develop academically and socially. They did not worry about a roof over their heads or food for the table. Transportation and at least one parent was there when they had a school function or extra curricular activity or just wanted to do something for the fun of it. Even though the three of them did not have a lot of material things, my children had all of the basics which included a loving, nurturing mother and working, supportive father.
Trying to Survive
My daughter does not live this same scenario. Her and my son, my second set of children, have a much different life. My son is autistic and I am now a divorced mother. My daughter and I suffer from serious bouts of situational depression. Her more so than I. My son wishes he had emotions. Many times, we have dealt with having no transportation, no food, no job, no money and homelessness. But throughout it all, my daughter has remained an excellent student and I have maintained enough faith and hopefulness for all of us.
Now, I own my small trailer (but not the lot), still drive the vehicle that was given to me about two and a half years ago, and have a good job. But life has taken its toll on us. That, along with my 4 to 5 hour daily commute, prevent me from providing my daughter with the support she needs to maintain herself in a failing high school.
First Things First
Realizing that what my daughter had been through was playing a significant role in whether or not she was going to thrive or fail in high school meant I had to do something and do it fast. She is extraordinarily intelligent as evidenced by being a member of the Junior National Honor Society and her grades. I also know that she could just as easily develop a psychosis with all the trauma she experienced in her young life. I had seen the warning signs. Deciding to take the high road - we both determined that it would be best for her to quit school and go straight to college. Otherwise, she might not make it to college.
The first thing I did was complete the online FAFSA application. Then, we went to the local community college to ask about classes. We were told my daughter had to take the AccuPlacer test to determine if she was ready for college. She took the test and passed with flying colors. Meanwhile, we learned that she qualified for a Pell grant based on her FAFSA application. However, in order to use it, my daughter could not be concurrently enrolled in high school. That settled it. Knowing what I knew about the current condition of her psyche, the decision was made. "You'll quitting school," I told her.
We also learned that she needed some sort of credential in order to enroll in college. She needed to graduate from a secondary level of education. She needed high school. But since we had decided she was quitting high school, we were left with no choice but for my daughter to get her GED. But none of this could happen until she turned 16. So we waited until her birthday later in the summer and took the steps necessary for her to secure her GED.
A Win-Win Scenario
Giving more thought to the situation, I realized Raven was in a win-win situation. Keeping her in her high school, without hands-on parental support to mitigate the circumstance of her damaged and fragile psyche and a failing high-school, was a lose-lose scenario. But providing her with the challenge of college would be the shot of adrenalin she needed to gain a renewed perspective and outlook on life. At worst she would leave college in two years with an associates degree and get a good job. At best, she would move on to a four-year university and earn a bachelor's degree. My daughter had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Where She is Today
My daughter has just finished her first semester at the local community college. Out of four classes, she received three As and one B. Her major is Computer Information Systems. She made the Dean's List missing the President's List by less than a tenth of a point (0.09) My daughter is so excited about life now and has so many plans for her future that I have trouble keeping up with it. But she still does fight depression. Mostly because she is having trouble believing that the proverbial rug will not be pulled out from under her at some point and she still does live in a household with an autistic sibling. This is very difficult but is also another story for another time. For today, my daughter is doing good and looking forward to taking the summer class she registered and paid for by herself (saved every bit of her allowance over the past year) and to getting a job so she can stay in college.
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